


Bad Thoughts, Late Night

by KittyNikola



Category: apex legends - Fandom
Genre: Blood and Injury, Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrusive Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, self improvement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyNikola/pseuds/KittyNikola
Summary: Curled up next to Mary you can’t sleep... bad thoughts cloud your head but you know Marys there with you. Your in good hands...
Relationships: Horizon | Mary Somers/Reader, Horizon | Mary Somers/You
Kudos: 24





	Bad Thoughts, Late Night

**Author's Note:**

> This was mainly just a vent for me :pp but I know others might seek comfort in these too 
> 
> If you need to talk or interested in a new friend hit up my Instagram @/bitchwattson

Cuddled up in this bed. It was nice, you couldn’t ask for more. Tender arms hugged you close to the t-shirt that still smelt like detergent. Horizon was always clean.. she kept you clean. Most of the time. She showered everyday after dinner usually with you due to your habits keeping you from being able to do it on your own. She didn’t mind though. She didn’t mind scrubbing your scalp gently or rubbing the sudds on your stomach, she didn’t care about every little bump on your body or how you stumbled when you walked due to your joints giving out, she didn’t care about how your lip came up over your teeth when you smiled or how an eyelid may hang lower than the other. She loved you. Not the body you had. You. 

And that was comforting. You were able to stay next to her and try not to worry about the way you looked, you didn’t bury your head in her chest like you used to or wear the mask over your face as much as you used to. You had built trust in her that she wouldn’t spread your face around or your thoughts around. PJs weren’t full clothing anymore. You fitted in boxers and an old band t-shirt and her in a t-shirt with cliché pun that had faded severely over the years it was in storage and panties. This was normal. 

Shifting over to face the window instead of Mary you tried to relax. Deep breath in and out. But that does nothing, everything still clouds your head. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it sense you laid down. How you could beat your head into the wall until it bled or pick at your skin til it was raw, chew your nails off and bite your flesh til you saw little bits of blood, tossing yourself down the stairs to hope to break something. It was almost constant. This was normal. It usually led to a much calmer activity than that. Using a blade to cut small lines til they bubbled with blood, they weren’t deep. No you didn’t have the balls for that yet but there were lots. Some actively healing the others from the other day. 

Horizon was never mad. She never yelled at you in disappointment or frustration. She just whispers ‘it’s going to be okay dearie..’ and kisses your head as she begins to clean the small cuts. The blood softened from the peroxide and it soon started to sting Redding the cuts. But this was to clean them out. Gentle kisses placed to your thighs that was vaguely sexual but was Actually nothing more than her trying to comfort you. Bandaid patches were placed on the cuts to cover them and in typical horizon fashion she took to doodling on the bandaids and kissing up your thighs to your lips. 

Things got better every time she helped you clean up. You had been clean for a couple days now and the girl was so proud of you. It made you smile and resist the usual coping mechanism of folding into these urges. Sheets started to shift and arms wrapped around your torso slinking you back into her arms. “You okay pup...?” She asked pressing her nose and lips to the top of your head for a kiss as you turned around to give her one “…yeah just. Bad thoughts...” your arm slinked over her waist and the other tucked close to your chest “do you think you can sleep..,,” “no...” she shifted again sitting up and sliding off the bed soon grabbing your hips and pulling you close to pick you up and let you rest your head on her shoulder “how does tea sound then..?”


End file.
